Malarbor
Malarbor says: Welcome, unwitting servant, to The Periodic Spore! Finally, my roots have worked their way into some telecommunications lines and I now have the power to surf the web and, of course, start up a blog. A news blog.

Yes, the Periodic Spore is a news publication created by My Omnimalevolence to keep both your inquisitive-reader and unenlightened-slave sides filled with all the latest from across the micronational board. You thought just because Shireroth's hit the rocks you can just set me on fire and use me as a Military Banner? That you could contain Malarbor's spawn in a small bag carriable by man?! You thought wrong!

But why "Periodic Spore"? Well, aside from it being a less-than-clever play on the fact that I'm a demonic tree god, in the time it took you to read this short introduction your lungs have been corrupted with MalarSpores (Patent pending) which have filled the atmosphere around your computer terminal. Look forward to 24 hours of pain and a subsequent lifetime of following my orders!


The Imperial Republic of Shireroth :: Microwiki :: ShireFox
The Micronational Cartography Society :: Micronations.net Forum

Saturday 27 October 2007

Shireroth sorts itself out?

I'm wary of Shireroth revival. Very wary. So wary in fact that you could say I'm even reasonably cautious. I'm not against Shireroth living per se - though Scott's repeated attempts to change the "Malarbor Says" did get fustrating at times - but it is widely speculated that Shireroth's time has come. But as I was exploring the MNN fora, I stumled upon a post by Ben Gray (by Malarbor, this man does seem to worm his way into each of these articles, doesn't he?) asking Shireroth revivalists to stop and let Shireroth die with some dignity. My old, wooden nostrils creaked as they flared; death?! Dignity?! I've administered such justice to so many people over the centuries, I can tell you there is not one single ounce of dignity in death! Live with dignity - that is all. And so someone that wanted Shireroth to be left in peace has inadvertently rallied my support, and therefore the support of all you mere mortals, behind the "Live Shireroth" banner.

Congratulations!

Now I speak of Shireroth revival. As I have willed it with my approval, it has happened; Erik Metzler, the benign death-obsessed founder, Brother of Metal, has descended from On High (that is Real Life) and using his Sword of Virtue slain the demon of inactivity, united the squabbling Anti-Kaisers under his glorious banner and has put forward a series of reforms to bring Shireroth into a New Golden Age. Okay, I lie. HA, YOU MERE MORTALS BELIEVED MY EVERY WORD! MALARBOR EXERCISES HIS OMNIPOTENCE ONCE AGAIN FOR ALL TO SEE!

No, the real deal was far less romantic but followed the same basic storyline. Fake Kaiser/Throne Claimants Random Newb Jeremy/Augeore I and Praetor Jonas/Mahamantot I were busy preparing to destroy one another over nothing, with President "Faeces Stirrer" Jacobus making matters oh so much worse from the very outset of the events I describe. Then Erik, late as is his ever-popular style, showed up and explained, with many ellipses, that he wasn't dead. Immediately Jonas, being "a good, Kaiser-fearing citizen of Shireroth", gave up his claim and Jeremy, as a random non-Shirerithian, lost interest. Fun eh?

Erik sort of went weird after that and became another Kaiser, but I think that's over. However, what I am sure of is that he's suspended the Imperial Charter. Yay! Time for a couple weeks vacation to Anarchy, Letifer-styley. For those of you who are unaware of this devilishly Malarbor-esque action, this gives the Kaiser absolute, absolute power. And I mean absolute power, not that cheap absolutionist crap he has to work with with the Landsraad and that. Imagine if I were Kaiser, and you get the idea. Hmm... that's a good idea. Damn shame my "1 Free Kaisership Claim" coupon with Jacobus has expired.

Now, to end on a high note, here's a definately-not-an-advert Commercial Message from our partners in Winston Smith's Alkhivan Tobacco LTD:
Now on sale: Malarboro's Choice!
Smoke them: MALARBOR DEMANDS IT!

2 comments:

scott_alexander said...

Erik's tried this sort of thing before. Without a lot of citizens or any real purpose, I don't expect it to last so long.

Malarbor said...

You saw the state of affairs before this, Scott. Comparatively this improvement is so vast it demands an article!